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I was born in Utah, in a fucking bathtub. Yes, you read that right. When I came earth side, I was greeted by a huge family, and lots of animals – we lived on a farm. I have very little recollection of this, but one of the (very) few family home videos has been my point of reference. If I’m being honest, I don’t remember much of my childhood, being that I have lived in ‘fight or flight’ for a quarter of a century, your memory sort of tends to slip, you feel me? My family moved from the middle-of-fucking-nowhere to a charming little beach town in South Florida, where my grandparents lived, and operated a very successful company. 

Yes, I’ve endured abuses, physically, emotionally, and sexually.

Of course two of my best friends died in a deeply disturbing car accident, and duh, my mom killed herself 3 weeks later with a handle of cheap vodka, and a bottle of OxyContin. My freshman year of high school was great, thanks for asking! 

Sure, a family friend molested me for three years straight – naturally, I was raped in college and subsequently left on the doorstep of a house party, unconscious, but you know, it wasn’t all that bad. I was allowed to drink Coca-Cola out of a teacup on Fridays if I was good, and every once in a while, if I got straight A’s during a semester, my parents would splurge, and get me an Ice-cream Snickers bar, which was my favorite.